How to nurture the independent woman.
Step 1: Just accept that she's right.
Step 2: Say ok honey, if that's what you want we'll make it work
Step 3: Sometimes she wants to do something but the way she's executing it is a$$ backwards. Rather than tell her, maneuver things in a way that are more logical
Step 4: Have a bickering battle, a blowout fight, get it out there, blow your steam at each other. Then kiss and make up and laugh about how ridiculous each one of you were in the whole thing (although in my experience I was NOT ridiculous... he was ;)
Step 5: Most of time she just wants your help in things she knows she can do herself. Just help her, ok?
I had a massive blow-up with my brother over moving a couch. Me and another lady were lifting a cumbersome piece of furniture and I asked my brother to pitch in. He responded, "Give me 15 mins" because he was plugged in to some T.V. show and didn't want to be interrupted. I blew my lid because we were literally in the middle of moving the couch and we needed the help right at that moment. I went crazy with rage at the lazy, inconsiderate, disrespectful behavior of my brother.
What's funny is that the next day I was camping out in Stevenson, WA. I met a woman there who was extremely pissed at her boyfriend because she told him that she was going to break down their tent and he didn't offer to help. I saw myself in that girl, she was so angry at the fact that she was doing the task by herself. Three of us ladies pitched in to help her, while two guys just sat sort of immobile and watching. I thought, "Wait a bit, what's wrong with this picture?" So, I approached the guys and said, "I can't seem to get this stake out of the ground, would you mind helping me?" And boom, they jumped on the bandwagon. I have to admit, I could have taken the stake out of the ground myself. As an independent, do-it-herself type person it's sometimes just sheer determination that keeps me from asking for help, but at the same time it's nice to recognize that the more hands involved the quicker the job can get done. It really is a matter of asking the right way. Guys don't think the same way woman do, and they don't like being told what to do... but asked the right way, they fall right in line ;)
Nice resolution there at the end. :-)
ReplyDeleteAs is usual in domestic furniture disturbance stories, the facts are slightly incomplete. Does the couch directly affect your brother positively? I too would be wary about moving potentially worthless (and indoor square footage decreasing) furniture. Depending on the circumstances I might actually go as far as to attempt to prevent the couch from entering the home in the first place hahaha (knowing I'll be requested to move it again later the next time the wind shifts).
As for the tent thing, did the woman literally ASK for any help? If not, then she has no reason to be angry. In this age of feminazism it's practically some sexual harassment lawsuit to even offer help. Men got over trying to read women's minds eons ago. Guys know to "fake" believe the fake answer of "nothing" to the question "What's wrong?" and not to ask any further.
And most know, if not given extremely clear and precise direction by the woman you're supposed to be cooperating with, it's not prudent to even attempt anything resembling tent set up or tear down, furniture assembly, home repair, or anything which could be done solo (by either party) in simply more time.
From an anthropological point of view, I think the guy only helped you because he thought it would increase his chances of having sex. If you weren't female age 18-35, or if you had children I'd put the probability of his helping you much lower.
Step Q) Find some wienery guy who will actually put up with the independent woman junk and you'll be set.
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ReplyDeleteLove it. Need to find me some wiener-y guy. Haha
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